Jump Start # 3910
Acts 15:39 “And there occurred such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus.”
Disagreements are a part of life. Husbands and wives do not always agree. Consider the most asked question after worship services, “Where do you want to go eat?” And, when the reply is, “I don’t care,” a suggestion is made. Obviously, the person did care because that’s not the place they want to eat at.
The climate running through our country right now is not healthy when it comes to disagreements. Name calling, shouting and even violence has filled the air when groups clash. Charlie Kirk built his short career around talking to those who disagreed with him. He’d make a person think. He’d make a person have reason and proof for what they were saying. He was a major impact in the minds of many young college students. But, Charlie Kirk was assassinated. Someone didn’t agree with him.
In our verse today, traveling companions, and friends, Paul and Barnabas have a disagreement about another person, Mark. On the last trip Mark left. He didn’t stay with it. Scared. Homesick. Not what he thought it would be. For whatever reason, he left. Now, it’s time for the next journey. Barnabas, the one who gave Paul a chance when he came to Jerusalem, wants to take his cousin Mark. Give him a second chance. Paul will have nothing to do with it. Words were said. Paul doesn’t seem to pull rank on Barnabas by saying that he is an apostle. But, nothing could be solved. They split. Paul goes one way and Barnabas and Mark the other way.
Who was right? Who was wrong? Who should have given in? Backseat drivers can discuss that all day long and not reach a conclusion. Sometimes there is no “right or wrong,” and yet, it just doesn’t work for some people.
I was reading about the old Leatherwood Christian Church which is not far from my area. Back in the early 1900s, the congregation became divided over the use of instrumental music. The disagreements became heated between the conservative element and the progressive side. Eventually, a lawsuit and a judge had to determine who would get possession of the building. The judge sided with the Christian church people.
During this heated period, someone had died and the conservative group wanted to have the funeral at the church building. Tensions ran thick and strong. On the day of the funeral, a member of the progressive side, blocked the door with his shotgun. He wasn’t letting anyone from the other group inside. The funeral was conducted on the front steps of the church building.
Here are some thoughts:
First, often, years later after a disagreement, what is remembered most is how people conducted themselves. This is true in church splits and this is true in arguments at home. We may not remember what the issue was, but we carry with us the insults, the belittling and the name calling. Kids will remember the shouting and slamming of doors.
A person tends to lose their cool and temperament when confronted by something that they don’t agree with. Among brethren, we can toss out everything we ever heard about the Bible for the sake of winning our argument. Fist fights, knives being pulled are some of the horrific stories that I have heard that took place when brethren have disagreed.
It’s time we take a long look at how we handle disagreements.
Second, some things that people argue about aren’t worth arguing about. In the process of winning a battle, we may lose the war. I get my way, but in so doing, some brethren become so upset that they leave. Is that good? Is that worth it? Now, when it comes to the pattern God has given us about salvation, worship, organization—certainly we must defend the Gospel. But a lot of disagreements surround the color of paint on the wall, the kind of curtains in the windows, or which song book to use. And, when we don’t get our way, we can really get in the way. We can behave just like little kids, who pout, cry, complain and tell everyone who will listen to them, how terrible they have been treated.
Being subject to one another, as Ephesians tells us to do, reminds us that I won’t always get my way. In fact, the larger the group, the less I will get my way. A disciple can live with that in peace. A selfish person won’t. And, that becomes the heart of the matter.
Third, the amazing thing about this Paul and Barnabas disagreement is that years later, Paul in a Roman prison, asks Timothy to bring Mark. Mark is useful Paul says. Paul changed his view about Mark. Mark had proven himself.
When we have a disagreement, we must be willing to allow a person to change. We ourselves change. This is where grace, forgiveness and apologies go along way into building friendships and fellowships. I expect more people have left a congregation, not because of what was taught, but because they didn’t get their way or there was something that they disagreed with.
I’m not sure if our culture will get any better with disagreements. Society has no foundation to work with. But, among the people of God, we do. We know better. We can do better.
Blocking the front door with a shotgun. I suppose he felt good about what he did. I wonder what he would have thought had the roles been reversed. In anger, we tend to forget the golden rule.
Roger