Jump Start # 2193
Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
Our verse today identifies one of the reasons God created Eve. Adam was alone. Adam needed a companion that was suitable or corresponded to him. A dog is nice. You can take a walk with a dog, pet a dog but a dog can’t talk to you. A dog is always a dog and doesn’t understand what it is like to be a human. Friends are nice and necessary. However, God didn’t created a buddy for Adam. The suitable one was a woman. She is like him but she is not like him.
The woman was to be the helper, or help-mate for man. I never thought that God gave Adam someone who could simply help him pick green beans. There was more to it than have an extra pair of hands to get the work done. The woman helped the man emotionally and spiritually. She brings a perspective and an insight that helps him.
Here’s an example. My wife ran into an older lady that we knew years ago. I hadn’t seen this woman in a long time. As they talked, this older person made the comment that I had put on weight. If you knew me when I was first married, I was a bean pole. Skinny doesn’t begin to define how I was. I need a rock in my pocket on a windy day to keep from blowing away. So, yes, since then, I have put on weight. But the way she said it and of all the things she could have said, why this? She didn’t say anything about my preaching, the global work that is being done, my writing, the grandkids, no it had to be that I was getting fat. So, when my sweet wife told that to me, thinking it would be funny, I was ready to launch a counter attack. I said, “I hope I see that old woman soon because I have a few things I want to tell her.” My wife said, “No, you won’t.” Then I began to rehearse what I would tell her. “First of all, you’ve gotten older, but you never have gotten any nicer.” My wife said, “No, you won’t say that.” “Second,” I proceeded, “you need to look in the mirror and see how old and ugly you’ve become.” My wife said, “No, you won’t.” “Third,” I said. About that time, my wife said, “No, you won’t. You’ll be your nice, kind way that you are around people.” Smoke still coming out of my ears, I realized she was right. She had helped me.
Men can be aggressive without thinking. We can want to settle the score without thinking about the consequences or our influence. The woman, our wives, can tone us down. They can help us see the bigger picture. They can soften and temper us and keep us from becoming a fool by saying something that we would only later regret. We need this. This may be one reason why God created woman, to help the man. Aside from the physical relationship, a woman helps calm the man down. She helps him curb his anger, hold his tongue and see clearly when he is ready to go tell his boss a few things or go across the street and tell his neighbor a few things. She helps him.
Now, from all of this, two obvious thoughts arise:
First, the woman, the wife, must know her man. She must know how he is wired and how she can help him be a better man. She is not sitting back, quiet, allowing him to run off his mouth and embarrass the entire family and ruin his reputation. She, because she knows him and loves him, is going to help filter, temper and direct him. One of our greatest spiritual tools is our spouse, if they are walking with the Lord. We can get upset. We can decide that we are going to tell others how we feel. But without any restraints, guidance or help, we can certainly make things much worse. Our over-the-top attitudes and harsh words can ruin relationships and counter any good that we are trying to do. This is why you find behind most successful Christians, a spouse who has been there all along to help the other.
Wives need to do that. Help your man from doing something that he would later regret. Talk him through things and get him to see things that he can’t. Often, like a bull that sees red, when angry, we only see our side of things and we feel compelled to blast away. Calm him down by reminding him of things he has forgotten in the moment of being upset. Encourage him to do right. Help him. You are his helper and he needs you.
Second, men, we need to listen to the help God has given us. Measure it with truth. We remember Job’s wife. Her advise wasn’t helpful. She had thrown in the towel and had given up. Satan got to her. But that’s not always the case. Often, our wives are right. Often, they remind us of little ears that may be listening or our influence among others or our roles that we play. God has given us help, but do we use that help? Do we ignore it because we are going to do what we are going to do? Do we intimidate our wife in such a way that she is afraid to say anything when we actually need it? Helping our attitudes, keeping our perspective, keeping us going is one of the wonderful things our wives provide for us. Do we listen? Do we welcome that help? Do we even realize that we need any help? Male egos can take us to dangerous places. I think especially of the wonderful role that the preacher’s wife plays. Behind the scenes, so few ever know how she has helped her preacher man. He gets fired up and is going to let the congregation have it. In the spirit of Luther, he’s ready to nail his complaints on the front door of the church building. He’s going to tell them things that they needed to hear years ago. Walking around the house, with his finger pointing in the air, the preacher rehearses his fiery declarations that he plans to deliver on Sunday. His good wife hears this and although she agrees with the what he sees, she knows his approach is way over the top. So, she talks him down off the edge, helps him to come up with some positive solutions and in turn, not only keeps him from getting fired on the spot, but keeps the church from dividing and things becoming worse. She has helped him. She has played the role that God created her for. She has helped him and no one else ever knew.
God created a helper suitable for Adam. In a wonderful relationship, husbands and wives help each other spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Helping. Helping make things better. Helping, as God would want.