Jump Start # 3834
Proverbs 20:3 “Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.”
Arguing seems to be the sport of choice for many these days. Name the topic and you’ll find plenty who want to disagree with you. Politics. Sports. Economy. The best pizza place in town. The greatest song of all time. And, once, religion was put in that category. We don’t see that much these days. And, it seems the biggest platform for quarrels these days is on Facebook or X. Just scroll through the comments and you’ll find everything from name calling to accusations of lying, prejudice and hatred. I’m convinced that some post things just to see how many dogs will howl in response. Social media isn’t the best place to have an honest and open discussion. Too many opinions jump in and cloud the issues.
Any fool will quarrel. And, I expect the Lord might have added, “Any fool will quarrel about any subject.” It’s hard to keep calm in the midst of a storm and it’s hard to keep calm in the middle of a quarrel. Some, for that very reason, refuse to engage in anything controversial. They will avoid an argument at all costs. And, most times, that cost turns out to be their conscience and peace of mind. Instead of standing for something, they fall for everything. They sell out just to keep peace. Without realizing it, they have compromised their convictions and gone along with things that they don’t agree with.
In the realm of parenting, this is a terrible route to go down. Parents must parent. Kids need rules and they need to hear “No.” Being afraid of an argument or resistance, some parents simply throw their hands up in the air and concede that nothing can be done. In so doing, those children grow up never having to respect authority or rules. You won’t be your child’s best friend. You are his parent. They need you to guide them and point them in the direction that they need to go.
In the realm of fellowship, avoiding quarrels can also be very deadly. Now, one does not have to return fire to every skirmish that takes place. One does not have to attend every disagreement that you are invited to. However, there are boundaries and lines in the sand drawn by our Lord. Spiritual men must speak out when those lines are crossed. Going along with error because one doesn’t want to raise questions is nothing more than being a coward. There are times when our voices must be heard. When leaders are leading away from the Lord, it’s time to stand up and speak out. When the voice from the pulpit no longer aligns with Scriptures, it’s time to have discussions and conversations.
The word “quarrel” can bring the image of shouting, finger pointing and meanness. It doesn’t have to be that way. One can be calm and stand his ground. One, in gentleness, can demand to see proof from the Bible for what one is advocating. Rather than increasing volume, some need to improve their argument.
There are some quarrels that we will stay out of. That’s the impression of this verse. A lot of them are nothing more than speculation, opinions and areas that really do not matter. And, if not careful, by always being in the middle of every argument, one develops a reputation that is not good and no one will want to even talk to you for fear of getting into another argument.
So, what’s the answer?
First, listen more than you talk. I’ve found that some who are arguing with each other are saying about the same thing, just using different terminology. Careful listening. Not simply trying to reload more arguments to counter attack, but listen.
Second, some things just do not matter, especially to you. Some may be passionate about something and for you, there are no sides and no opinion. And, when that happens, don’t jump in to that quarrel. A person doesn’t quarrel with themselves. It always takes at least one other person for a good argument to take place. You don’t have to be that other person.
Third, when someone is misusing Scripture, even then, consider whether they have a heart to listen and change, or are they simply dispensing their foolish wisdom. Don’t cast pearls among the swine is what Jesus said. Yet, for so many, they think somehow those pigs will listen, at least to me. It becomes a waste of time and energy. There are some people that you cannot convince, even when you show them the facts. Pride has a lot to do with this.
Let’s not forget the beatitude about peacemaking. It is a blessing to make peace. Your tone. Your selection of words. Your timing. Your agenda. And, especially, your heart, has everything to do with this. Some love to stir up a Bible class by tossing out controversial topics. Instead of being an exercise in learning more about the Bible, the class becomes irritated and sides are taken and very little profitable good has been accomplished. Don’t do that. Only the devil smiles when that happens.
Keeping away from strife…it’s hard to do sometimes. Realizing there is a time to speak and a time to be silent is the key. Knowing what time it is helps.
Roger